Saturday, January 30, 2010

For Your Amusement

Sorry I'm a bit late, but late is better than never. Heidi and Lilly have already read this short little story I'm about to post, but I thought I'd share it with the rest of you.

Beneath the Soil

What Are You Growing There, Boy?

One day in the hot summer a boy about fourteen was working out in the fields of his grandparents farm. He was planting seeds of all sorts in the ground. It was his favorite thing to do out on the farm, actually. He loved being the cause for the plants that come up from the ground looking healthier than ever.

"It was me that planted all of that!" he would say. "I did that!"

Not to say that he wasn't any good at his job though. He was excellent at it. Everything was mixed in together, and when the time came to pick it all, nobody wanted to because it looked so colorful and beautiful, especially the way he put flowers in between everything.

But year after year he got more and more cockier. "I'm the best!" he would say to himself. "Only I can plant the best of the best!"

But all those years of conceitedness finally caught up with him.

When the boy was almost done planting, an old man walked up behind him. He had a long beard and a giant straw hat that kept his whole face in the shade. He was a pair of faded jeans and a old button down plaid shirt.

"Why hello!" the old man said cheerfully to the boy.

The boy turned around to stare at the man with his sunburned face and sweaty forehead. He squinted his eyes at him. "What?"

"What are you growing there, boy?" he asked.

The boy just shrugged. "Everything, I guess."

"Everything? How nice!" The old man clapped his hands together.

"Sure. Whatever."

"So you're growing beans too?" It was oblivious to the boy why this random old man got so excited suddenly. "Oh I love beans!" he cheered.

"Uh...no. I don't think so." He scratched his head and looked around. "Nope. No beans here. Er...sorry, I guess."

The old man looked appalled. "But you just have to have beans!"

This guy was starting to get on the kid's nerves now. "Listen, old man, why don't you just let me do my job? I know what I'm doing. You're just a crazy old fool."

"Oh, no no no, sonny my boy! You must have beans, or all your crops will fail miserably!" he warned.

"Doubtful," said the boy as he spit on the ground next to the man's feet. "And I ain't plantin' no beans! And that's that!"

The old man frowned. "Very well. But you'll be sorry!"

The boy looked away at his beautiful planted seeds. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever..." But when he looked back, the old man was gone. "Crazy crack pot old fool!"

Months later, when it was time to pick all the goods from the field the grandparents that owned the farm went out wearing gloves and carrying baskets.

In the very small living room the boy sat lazily on the couch, watching some shows on the tiny TV screen.

"JOSEPH!" came the grandfather's voice from outside. The boy named Joseph jumped and quickly ran outside.

"What? What is it?" Joseph said.

"What's the meaning of all this, Joseph?" the grandmother asked. Her hands were on her hips and she gestured angrily with her head to the field in front of them.

Joseph was very confused. He looked around then was shocked to see that the field was full of trees! He walked up to one of the trees and looked closer to see what colorful little fruit was growing off the branches.

"Beans!" he said. He picked off a few and showed them to his grandparents. "Beans!" The little beans that sat in his palm were all the colors of the rainbow. He saw pink beans, blue beans, purple beans, and more!

"Why did you plant only beans in our field?" the grandfather asked angrily.

Speechless, the boy says, "I-I didn't! I swear! It was the old man! He...he was the one that did this!"

"What old man?" the grandmother asked. "We're the only people who live here for miles."

"But I saw him! He was there! He said that if I didn't plant any beans..."

"Oh, Joseph," the grandmother said, "all that TV and those comic books are getting to your head. They're making you see things that aren't really there!"

Joseph was punished. He was forced to dig up all the trees and put them in the barn for the cows and other animals. Then after that he had to do other chores.

"Stupid old man!" grumbled the very unhappy boy.

"I told you," said a quiet voice. The boy looked and saw that it was the old man again.

"You!" he said.

"I told you to plant some beans..." He chuckled and vanished into thin air.

And from that moment on, the boy Joseph always planted enough beans in the field for the old man that liked to visit often.
This story is dedicated to my little sister Lilly who basically came up with the idea without meaning to...

My younger sister Lilly is sitting next to me while I'm on Mibba. Lilly looks at computer screen and sees my story up.

"Beneath the...Soil?" she says, misreading the title.

I laugh. "No! Beneath the Soul!"

"Oh." She laughs along with me. "What's it about?"

"Demons," I tell her.

She doesn't hear me correctly. "Beans?" she says.

"No!" I laugh even harder. "DEMONS!"


And so I wrote this little parody just for her.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Quotes from the Twilight Series

Even if you didn't particularly like the books (and if you did, don't tell me), I bet you'll agree that there's a fair share of funny, entertaining, and thought-provoking moments. Believe it or not, I've actually found a website devoted to these quotes. I've included a few of my favorites here, but feel free to check out the website yourself. :)

I love a happy ending. They are so rare.
Aro, New Moon, Chapter 21, p.468

I told him you were planning to corrupt my youthful innocence.
Jacob Black, New Moon, Chapter 9, p.209

Do you want me to bolt the doors so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?
Bella Swan, Twilight, Epilogue, p.487

Oh, for the love of all that’s holy!
Edward Cullen, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 2, p.28

Friday, January 22, 2010

Katie's Made-up Story

I am no poetry guru.  I took a creative writing class in high school, but those days are long gone, along with all of the poems and stories I wrote.  So, in order to write my Friday blog..... I am going to have to make something up!  


Once upon a time, there lived a very juicy little orange.  He did not remember the day he realized he was an orange, it just kind of... happened.  So out of nowhere, this sweet and tangy little fellow realized that he was sitting in a box at County Market in Hartford, Wisconsin.  (He did not realize he was in Hartford, but the location is important to the storyline, so bear with me).

Now, the juicy little orange really loved the fruit box he was sitting in.  It was a spacious box, with a deep chocolaty tinge to it, and a worker had cut off the lid of the box so that the oranges could be displayed properly.  This allowed the juicy little orange to see the other produce nearby, and this made the sweet little tangerine ridiculously giddy.

The fresh little citrus fellow made a lot of friends while he was sitting in his box.  To be completely honest, he couldn't not make friends- he was practically sitting on top of them!  All of the orange little squeakers were pretty darn nice to each other, considering they couldn't move and they didn't have names.  The only strange thing that happened to the oranges in the box was that occasionally one or two of them would disappear.

"That is strange," thought the squirty little orange.  "I have a feeling that the guy to the right was just here... "

This went on for a few days.  The juicy little orange would make some friends, and suddenly- out of nowhere- the friend would mysteriously disappear.  Now, the squirty little orange was getting quite frustrated, because he didn't know exactly what was going on or why his friends were leaving him.  And in a moment of despair, he turned to the old, brown, wrinkly orange on his left.


"Oh, dear friend," said squirty, "please do tell me where everyone is going!"


The old, brown, wrinkly orange slowly turned toward the young, fresh little orange.  "Well," he began, in a voice that sounded similar to a coastie-smoker, "They are off to paradise!  When you are a young, fresh and juicy orange, the customers like you and they take you to paradise!"  


The cute little squirty orange thought to himself, "Wow!  Paradise sounds wonderful!  I hope I get chosen next!"  And he sat there, and wished with all his might that he would be chosen to visit Paradise. And after the cute juicy little orange had been wishing for a long time, a customer picked him up and took him to Paradise.



What the cute, juicy little orange didn't realize, was that Paradise was actually the home of the Krill sisters.  They happily peeled the orange, exclaiming, "This is the BEST and JUICIEST orange in the world!  I have never tasted anything SWEETER than this... I feel like I am in PARADISE!"






Moral of the story #1:  Don't believe everything you hear.
Moral of the story #2: Be careful what you wish for.
Moral of the story #3: Cute little oranges are actually little people who want to go to Paradise.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Funny Face

"I didn't know that your face could do that!"

Monday, January 18, 2010

What HO!?!

An abandoned blog on happy thoughts?!?!

HERE?!?!?!

AWESOME!!!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Two Original Poems by Heidi (Me)!

Peanut Butter Cup

Thin tin leaf

covering

pure peanut buttery

GOLD

Take off the wrapping

slip fingers under

edges and folds

peeled back to reveal

Devil’s Tower

centering metallic expanse

creases and bends

cracking close to base

beams coming off

Chocolate sun

Sustainer of All Life

silver rays

throw light in my eyes

Grip the edge

one more paper

separating cup from sink

Ridges melt away

wet sand dispersing

goes down the drain.



Lip Balm

Where before the lip was even

smooth and curved

healthy and hydrated

it has become dry

devastated by drought

the surface is cracked

separated to reveal

a gash sore and stinging

whipped into incredible pain

by

harsh winds

shocks of saliva

all color fades

vibrant pinks become washed out

transformed to dry white

zombie lips

But something obscures the light

a rain cloud

lip balm

to wash out the desert

and make it a glassy pool.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Thursday's Video

Try not to laugh!!!

http://www.maniacworld.com/laughter-chain-try-not-to-laugh.html

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Shamelessly Copy-Pasted From LSNED.com

The origin of the hamburger: Great sandwich or greatest sandwich ever?

Published on January 13, 2010

Speaking of hamburgers, which I was (specifically, hucking them across continents), are you aware just how close we came to going out for “tartars and fries”?

The Tartars (or Tatars) are an ethnic group found around Russia, descendants of Mongolians, who were once at the leading edge of finely chopped meat. The legacy remains in the modern day steak tartare, which is basically a mound of raw ground beef, though the fancy French restaurants make it sound more… how do you say… edible.

While the recipe of ground beef, minced onions, and seasoning stayed much the same, after making it to the port town of Hamburg, Germany they started to cook it. It was from here that the Hamburg steak, as it came to be known, spread across the world in the 1800s.

Side note: the Salisbury steak is pretty much identical to a Hamburg steak, but named after Dr. James Salisbury who promoted eating meat three times a day, and limiting vegetables, fruits and starchy foods.

A little earlier, mid 1700s, it was John Montagu, the Earl of Sandwich, asked for some meat tucked between two pieces of bread. He just wanted to be able to eat conveniently while working or playing cards. As such, the sandwich was born.

The two met up on American soil but the exact location is hotly contested. Grasping for any claim to fame there are three US states that have legislation to decree the birth of the hamburger, or more accurately, the Hamburg steak sandwich, happened inside their borders.

The two oldest claims date to 1885, and both share the story of a food vendor at a county fair. In one case a meatball vendor squashed his product flat and served it in bread so it became more portable. It was a hit. The other story is about running out of pork for sausage patty sandwiches on a busy day, and improvising a new recipe using ground beef. That too was a hit.

The second guy also claimed to have created the word “hamburger” not based on the Hamburg steak but rather that the fateful day occurred at the fair in Hamburg, New York. To me, that sounds a little too convenient.

The meatball guy dished up his sandwiches every year and came to be known as Hamburger Charlie. He even had a song and dance routine:

Hamburgers, hamburgers, hamburgers hot; onions in the middle, pickle on top. Makes your lips go flippity flop.

Another story argues the technicality that those both put a Hamburg steak between slices of bread, but the true hamburger was born when it was first placed on a bun. If you buy that, then credit is due to Grandpa Oscar Bilby of Tulsa, Oklahoma. The way his family tells the story of his first annual July 4th BBQ you’d think the man came down from the mountain with his holy grill.

Of course, Texas has its own version of the hamburger creation story, too. It probably wasn’t the first, but it did have the biggest effect when Fletch David took his sandwich on the road. The hamburger hit the big time as a favourite dish at the 1904 World’s Fair in St. Louis, Missouri. And we lived fattily ever after.

-Heidi :)

Monday, January 11, 2010

Found by Me

Hahaha.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Quirk

I guess Heidi thought I wasn't going to post today, but I'm still apart of this blog! And today is my Tuesday posting day. So here's a quote from a friend:

"Sometimes I hear you whistling and chuckling to yourself."
-Jeremy

When he said this I was deeply amused, because it has become an automatic thing that I whistle a tune or a few notes none the less. And I do chuckle to myself, because the world makes me laugh along with the people in it. Not to mention my very silly thoughts and ideas.

Anyway, just the fact that someone noticed this little...quirk I have (whistling and chuckling without really realizing I am). It made me smile.

A New Little Friend!

"I want to love you!"

Monday, January 4, 2010

Hey Girls!


p.s. look on the sidebar. >

Saturday, January 2, 2010

"A new year is unfolding - like a blossom with petals curled tightly concealing the beauty within."

Happy New Year Girls! :)